Monday, March 9, 2009

... be able to open a beer bottle.


With something other than a bottle opener, of course.

I spent 2 wonderful months living in Mexico during the summer of 2002.  Among many things, one of the most important things I learned was ingenuity.  One day while riding the bus from Guaymas to San Carlos a little girl boarded holding a zip-lock bag full of water with a straw sticking out of it.  A homemade Capri Sun.  Genius.  I sat in my seat wishing I had been as smart as that little girl when I was her age.

Another thing that I learned... quickly, was how to open a bottle using almost any common object.  I didn't see a traditional bottle opener the entire time I lived in Mexico, and none of the bottles are twist off.  It makes perfect sense when you really think about it.  A bottle cap is attached to the bottle by clamping a tiny piece of metal around a glass lip.  By creating a simple lever anyone can pop that sucker off.

I was taught by my trusty Mexican friends that the most important thing in this process is the fulcrum.  You have to grip the top of the bottle with your full hand, anchor with your pinky, and create a fulcrum (your pointer finger) that is even with or higher than the cap itself.  Then, just grab something that won't break, wedge it under the cap, and push down.  In my observation, the most common (and easiest) things used are:

1)  A Lighter
3)  Handle end of Silver Ware

It is simple physics, and an even simpler way to open a bottle.  


Monday, March 2, 2009

... have an adequately stocked bar on hand.


There is something romantic about watching Don Draper sip whiskey from his low ball glass.  Of course, if you haven't had the pleasure of watching Mad Men, perhaps Jack Donaghy has struck that chord with you.

I have no doubt that in each of their homes (their fantasy TV homes that is) you will find an immaculately stocked bar.  Full of crystal and fancy stirring spoons.  While we don't all have the funds, or drinking habits, to allow for the full set-up, we should still have the basics.  The upfront investment will be significant, but it will pay dividends when the girlfriend's father stops by and you can offer him that gin and tonic with a confident wink.

You could go ahead and shell out a few hundy up front, or accumulate this stuff over a bit of time.  However, you should be able to accommodate most people's taste with this simple set up.

SPIRITS

Vodka
Gin
Rum
Tequila
Whiskey (Bourbon or Scotch preferably) 

ADDITIONAL SPIRITS

Vermouth (Sweet and Dry if possible)
Coffee Liqueur

ADDITIONAL BEVERAGES

Bottle of Red Wine
Bottle of White Wine
6 pack of Beer

MIXERS

Tonic 
Soda Water
Coke (Diet & Regular)
Ginger Ale
Juice (Orange/Cranberry/Tomato)

GARNISHES

Lemon
Lime
Olives
Cherries

GLASSWARE/TOOLS

Cocktail Shaker
Lowball Glasses (4)
Highball Glasses (4)
Wine Glasses (at least 4)

So, here is the deal.  This probably looks like a lot, but you more than likely have a lot of it sitting around anyway.  With the stuff above you will be able to throw together all the basics.  And the fact is, that is basically all it takes to look like a hero.

... give.


"Think of giving not as a duty but as a privilege."  - John D. Rockefeller

"I have found that among its other benefits, giving liberates the soul of the giver."  - Maya Angelou

"No one has ever become poor by giving."  - Anne Frank

Every man should give.  In his own way.  To whomever he is able.

... have a baseline knowledge of sports.


Every man is not a sports fan.  Certainly, there are enough sports nuts to make up for the fellas that don't really get into sport.

However, you just never know when you will be at that party/dinner/swap meet and need to reach deep down to pull out the limited sports knowledge you possess.   At a very minimum, every man should be prepared with several key points of sports trivia.

COLLEGE SPORTS

Previous years National Champion for:



Heisman Trophy Winner:


PROFESSIONAL SPORTS

Previous year's Champion in each major sport:





Now, if you really want to be polished you should know the MVP's of each league from the previous year:





** Some will argue that Cy Young is as important in MLB.  I will oblige:


Of course, if you are with more refined company you might want to read up on soccer, but we'll leave that for another time.  Now get out there and go crazy sports fans.